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How can you be sure if it's lust or love when you're in your 20s?

[fa icon="calendar"] Sep 14, 2015 9:26:00 PM / by Kristy K

Kristy K

In the beginning of a relationship, everything’s intense: the passion, your feelings, and your increasing level of intimacy with your new partner. So how do you know if what you’ve got is the real deal or just a case of sex appeal?

Did you know that falling in love actually happens over time, and the journey from initial intense attraction to deep romantic love is a predictable course that depends on many different factors?

Here's the thing though: intense sexual attraction is notorious for obliterating common sense and intuition in the most sensible people. Why? Lust is an altered state of consciousness programmed by the primal urge to procreate. Studies suggest that the brain in this phase is much like a brain on drugs. I repeat - Brain. On. Drugs.

So, seriously, how can you be sure if it's lust or love? Especially when we're young, in our 20s and relatively new at this whole thing?



how can you be sure if it's lust or love when you're in your 20s?


The following are some important signs to look for when assessing whether your romance has a potential future or is more likely to crash and burn as the passion fades.



  • You’re extremely focused in on a person’s looks and body.
  • You’re interested in being intimate, but less so in having conversations.
  • You’d rather keep the relationship on a fantasy level, not discuss real feelings.
  • You're lovers, but not friends.

  • You want to spend quality time together other than being intimate.
  • You get lost in conversations and forget about the hours passing.
  • You want to honestly listen to each other’s feelings, and make each other happy.
  • He or she motivates you to be a better person.

    Lust is a strong desire of a sexual nature that is based on physical attraction. Lust can transform into deep romantic love, but it usually takes time. On the flip side, love is an intense feeling of affection toward another person. It's a profound and caring attraction that forms emotional attachment. Two individuals will only transform their lust into love when they get to see the whole individual (their strengths and weaknesses) and get past the fantasy level.



    Becoming intimately involved with someone new is exciting and exhilarating. It's also potentially excruciating if you’re not on the same page. It’s important to assess the situation early on, identify where you’re both coming from, and determine whether or not you’re compatible for long-term relationship success. In doing so, you’ll cut down on wasted dating time, hurt feelings, and potentially rough heartbreak

    As romance novelist Danielle Steel once said, “Lust is temporary, romance can be nice, but love is the most important thing of all. Because without love, lust and romance will always be short-lived.”


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    Topics: Love, Lust

    Kristy K

    Written by Kristy K

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