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How to deal when the person you thought you knew best, turns out to be a stranger.

[fa icon="calendar"] Sep 3, 2015 9:27:00 PM / by Kristy K

Kristy K

"People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within." - Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

How often do we think we know someone we are in a relationship with, only to ultimately be let down or disappointed?

"He swore to me he'd never do something like that. But then he did."

"That is so unlike him...I just can't even comprehend this behavior."

"He told me he'd never leave me. How could he drop me so fast and easily?"

I'd venture (on good authority) this happens all the time. To great people. Smart, assertive, "have it all together", type of people. But still, we constantly question ourselves. How could this happen? Has anyone ever had it as bad as me? Is this real life? This can't be real life.

We've got to stop with the over analyzing. We need to shut our ego up. Stop asking ourselves why, how, when, and if only. Frankly, it doesn't matter. It happened, and it's not going to unhappen. It's also not going to change. So, stop looking outwards, and start looking at yourself. Start realizing that you were with someone who is capable of extreme behavior that hurts you. And that is not what you need and that is absolutely not what you want in a life partner. How did you get yourself here?

You're standing at a cross road. You can take this time and feel sorry for yourself, or not digest the information and quickly try to assuage your feelings (with, say, a warm body and/or a cool bottle). Or, you can take this opportunity to change and grow from these lessons. You can take this experience, and use it to get you on the path to the very best version of yourself.

With every set back in a relationship, you have an opportunity to take those learnings and evolve yourself into who you are meant to be. The woman, partner and/or mother you are meant to become.



So what's the first step to growth?

Reflect on your life history. Has this happened before? When? How often? What is the pattern here?

Step back and observe yourself and observe other people. Learn to hone in on people and learn to step back and allow someone to reveal things about themselves to you before you create a fantasy in your mind of who you want them to be. Believe someone the first time they show you who they are.

And don't forget: this person you thought you knew is not coming back. The hard truth is, they never really existed. Prepare yourself for the one who really is what they say. The person who is everything you could ever hope for. The person who the most evolved version of yourself attracts, because as the saying goes, "water seeks its own level."

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Topics: Loss

Kristy K

Written by Kristy K

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